Sunday, March 28, 2004

The One Where Laura Discovers Titles

One more thing to crossed off the list...and I also found another way to procrastinate, care of Sombrero Jack :

Which Simpsons Character are YOU?

I was Duffman, in case you're wondering. Oh yeah!

In other news...okay, this really isn't news at all. See, we have these visitors books at the sites - you know, the kind where you write your name and where you're from and comments? Well, some people (don't want to single anyone out, but it starts with a "B" and ends with a "ritish schoolchildren") think that appropriate reactions to visiting a war memorial are (and I quote): "mouth-watering", "neat stuff", "top bannana's" [sic], and my personal favourite, "Bleeba Gleeba".

I dunno, I guess I was a kid once too, but I can't imagine doing something like that...although, from what I remember, I was a pretty big geek. It's hard to say, I've blocked many of those years from my mind (see post #1 for a pretty good explanation:).

Ooh, and in other "it's a small world after all" news, not only did I recently run into Courtney's thesis advisor from UVic, I also met Dave Wheaton's nephew. That would be, for all you Vic City kids, he of Dave Wheaton Pontiac Buick. He (the nephew, not Dave Wheaton) was pretty thrilled to have run into a fellow West Coaster.

And then I sang the jingle ("Dave Wheaton Pontiac Buick - We Really Care!") and he ran away.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Alright - just wanted to take this opportunity to point out that I have conquered the evil bulletpoints. Um, I just needed to use the links button provided by blogger (as pointed out by Dan, 'cause I never noticed it) instead of typing out the html code. Cross that one of the ol' "To Do" list.

Alright, now that I've filled my daily quota of productivity, it's time to procrastinate. Scoped out latest Strong Bad e-mail? Check. Revisited some fave satire? Check. Found evidence of dwindling creativity of Internet scams? Also check.

And now that I've updated the bloggedy-blog, I have run out of stuff to do online. Although I did find a good lead on a job .

Monday, March 22, 2004


Sorry, just one of those know, not bad, not good, just...a day.

I'm trying to think if anything really exciting or even remotely interesting has happened since my last post...I really don't think so. Wow, that's sad. Maybe I should just make something night, I the...Eiffel Tower! Yeah! It was super awesome!!!

Well, it is starting to be sunny and warm, which is kind of exciting...for me, anyway. And I am going to start looking for a job soon, which is kind of exciting, only by "exciting" I mean gut-wrenchingly depressing. And by "soon", I mean "not really all that soon at all", because I am a wimp. And also very, very lazy. Er, I mean I am a proactive, dynamic, outside-the-box thinker who is ambitious and professional. Or something.

I guess there's always this

Saturday, March 13, 2004

(hiccup)...oh, don't mind me, I just go back from (hiccup) Champagne. Famous for (hiccup) dinosaur fossils...

No, just kidding - famous for the bubbly! Went around to five different houses, sampled fancy stuff, learned all sorts of fun things - for example, did you know that a 1.5L bottle of champagne is called a 'Magnum'? Well, ya do now! A highlight of the trip was when we stopped in at a smaller champagne house and the tour guide really didn't want to give us a tour, so she bribed us with free champagne. Seriously, she was all "Really, the tour's kinda boring and it's all the same stuff you've already heard and...I'll give you free champagne!" Hmm, interesting strategy...maybe I should keep a bottle behind the counter when French school groups come in...

Also had a close encounter of the "Hey! What are you doing in France!" "What are YOU doing in France?" kind. Gave my first-ever real tour (in French, no less) to a school from Ottawa. In attendance were two fellows with whom I worked during my summer at the Gee-Gees camps. I felt bad, though, because I only remembered their camp names, so I was all "Hey, Hubba and Bubba!" But good times nonetheless...

And in other, shittier news...

I'm not sure what the coverage is like on the other side of the pond, but the attacks in Madrid are being examined from every angle, all the's a pretty upsetting story. Coming a few weeks after that bomb was defused on the tracks in southern France...anyway, I can't even form a coherent sentence on the subject. It's just really, really terrible. I hope they showed scenes in the North American news about the demonstration in Madrid - about 2 MILLION people were there. A very powerful sight.

I can't really write anything funny after that, so...I leave you with your thoughts.

Monday, March 08, 2004

Happy International Women's Day to all the ladies and the gents who love 'em! By happy coincidence, I also received Ms. magazine's "Women of the Year" issue, courtesy of Payton. It's a pretty amazing read although, as is the case whenever I read about extraordinary women, I feel both deeply proud/hopeful and terribly insignificant...y'know, 'cause I didn't fight my way out of a war-torn country, earning a triple PhD in Law, International Development and epic love poems in Sanskrit. At least, not this year. Maybe soon!

I'm trying to think of funny stuff that has happened, but it's just been really quiet and I haven't travelled since Milan...hmmm, something funny, something funny...okay...A man walked into a bar - and it hurt! A HA HA HA HA Ha Ha ha ha...heh...ahem...Hmm, maybe not.

Ooh, how about this one - when M. F came in the other day, he helpfully informed us of facts that no Canadian could possibly know, such as the existence of provincial flags and mottos in Canada. Yes, I too was shocked to learn of this. Thanks again, Mr. F! Anyhoo, I was trying to relate this story to a fellow guide, but I was kinda tired and had just drank a fairly big glass of red-wine-from-a-box (courtesy of Avril Williams, a familiar figure to past guides) and had a bit of a Floydian slip when I got to the part where he starts going on about provincial sayings...well, colour me sheepish, but I accidentally said that Quebec's is "Je ne sais pas" (literally meaning "Laura is an idiot"), instead of "Je me souviens". Although - I kinda like my version:) I guess I'll leave that up to my Quebec friends for the final decision, though!

So, what's on the menu this week? Well, for starters, a packed day-trip to Juno beach and area. We had assigned reading for this trip, which was useful for learning such facts as during which war the D-Day landings took place (kidding! I already knew it was during the Crimean war...haha, little WWI tour guide humour for you...ha...heh...anyway). During the course of these readings, I also learned - as if I needed another reason to hate the American military-industrial-complex - that some of the US air support assigned to the Canadian and Polish troops kinda got a little confused (can ya guess where this is going?) and bombed them instead of the enemy. And then they bombed the Polish troops again in a latter assault. It makes me really afraid that the final scene in "Top Gun" when Maverick swoops in and saves the day, and Ice Man is all "You can be my wingman anytime!" and Maverick is all, "So that's what the kids are calling it these days!" is actually an alternate ending to the original one that had them taking their final class, "How to Bomb Canadian (and sometimes Polish or other allied) Troops".

Thanks for the e-mails (and wake-up calls) and everything else that helps me feel kinda sorta maybe not totally like a stranger in a strange land.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Pardonnez-moi for my long absence...a combination of travelling, technical difficulties, and Oscar night (to be explained). So, for those of you waiting with bated breath, here's some highlights (and lowlights) of the last seven days:


Highlight: Managed to make flight to Milan. Fairly impressive considering it took us two trains and a taxi to get there. Also perfected the dance of "Dammit, you stupid train, get to the freakin' station already!". It involves lots of stomping and jumping up and down.

Lowlight: NOTE TO FANS OF CLASSIC ROCK: THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR SANITY. There exists a techno version sung in falsetto of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb. Urge to kill...rising...

Wednesday - Friday

Highlights: Walked around Milan, a beautiful, clean! city. Saw "The Last Supper", a medieval castle, the second largest gothic cathedral in the world (the largest is in Cologne, which, strangely enough, I have also seen, making me ponder why an atheist keeps randomly appearing in cities with dramatic tributes to Catholicism), and more shopping than you can shake a Visa Platinum Card at.

Lowlights: Was the only person in the entire city wearing a Columbia jacket and hiking boots. Kept waiting for the fashion police to deport me. Also, came to the painful realization that my tequila tolerance is not what it used to be.

Saturday & Sunday

Highlights: Have memorized 2/3 of the world's flags. I'll be at 100% if we don't get some freakin' visitours soon. Also, made banana bread with bananas found in the freezer. They had "Adeline" written on them. Thanks Addie!

Lowlights: Realized the flag thing makes me look - no, just makes me - a giant dork.


Highlights: Watching the Oscars! And for those of you thinking, "But the Oscars were on Sunday night!", I answer "Not in France, they weren't!". From 2:30am to 6:15, with a webcam at Payton's and a phone against the TV at Dan's, I watched my 10th consecutive Oscars. I also got my highest score ever (21/24 right) by simply putting LOTR for everything. Best Picture? LOTR. Best Sound Mixing? LOTR. Best Documentary Short? LOTR. You get the picture.

Lowlights: Alright, alright, I'm a giant dork!