Tuesday, April 27, 2004

The Last Temptation of Floyd

I caved. It had been going so well - almost four months, and no signs of weakness; just the odd craving that was easily ignored or satiated with a few beers. And then I got lost coming back from Albert, a town which is of little interest to anyone, except that it's where we get gas for the BH vehicles. I'd never been there before, but one of the secretaries was driving home and told me to follow her there - a cinch, right? I got there, filled up, turned around and started retracing my path. I don't know where it all went wrong - I'm thinking one of the roundabouts, dammit, all the exits looked the same! Whatever the cause, I soon found myself in unfamiliar territory. A moment of weakness - and that's when they struck. Searching around for a sign or landmark, I saw it off in the distance, shining like...well, golden arches: the Golden Arches. What could I do? I was powerless to resist. Hungry, tired, alone...the next thing I know, I'm at the counter all "Un Royal Cheese"... Anyway, I was still lost, and drove around aimlessly, adopting the time-honoured strategy of "Maybe if I drive around a bit more, I'll see something I recognize!" Okay, stop laughing - it worked, dammit! After 20 minutes or so, there stood a ginormous sign with an arrow that read "Laura, go this way". Or maybe it said "Beaumont Hamel Newfoundland Park Turn Left". Whatever. The point is that I made my way home in all my clogged-artery gloriousness. AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT I have not met any of the new guides yet, but I already have a favourite: the one who brought us a Globe and Mail. That's how I first heard about this. I think it's the best friggin' idea ever.

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