Friday, April 09, 2004

Hat Trick

I don't know if this has ever happened in the history of Vimy/BH guidedom, but for one brief shining period this week - we had all three vans in the shop. One of our greater accomplishments as a team.

Or somebody's trying to kill us.

Anyhoo, it starts with the Vimy van (affectionately known as 'Bijou') going in to get the handbrake fixed. And then - well, you are, of course, all familiar with the fun that is 'Charlotte' losing brake fluid pressure. Icing on the cake was when we were given 'Mitsou' and the battery conked out on the way to work when we stopped to recycle our many empty beer and wine bottl...er, I mean, when we stopped to save a busload of nuns...um, and a really cute puppy. We finally got both vans back the other day, but Bijou is back in the shop 'cause her fanbelt screeches like a banshee.

Which leads me to random rant about France #284: The One Where Laura Wonders Why French People (in particular, but not limited to, men) Think That Young Canadian Women Are Idiots. So, we stop at the recycle bin...er, I mean the nun-bus depot, and then we can't start the engine again. It revs but won't turn over, and makes that horrible sound of a dead/dying battery. Also the battery light is on. Also the van hasn't been used in the past two months and we only drove it a little ways, not enough to recharge the battery. So the three of us put one and one and one together and wind up with "dead battery".

But the security guard? Is all, are you sure? And we're all, yes, for the following reasons. And he's all, could it be something else? And we're all, maybe, but...no. And he's all, let me listent to it...hmm, sounds like the battery. I'll get maintenance and see what they think. And they he phones us later and is all, yup, it was the battery! Good guess girls! Here's a pretty ribbon for your hair! Or maybe not that last part. But still, it's one of those moments where I feel like shaking someone and shouting "I AM NOT AN IDIOT!@@#$#@!" Furthermore, it seems like, but (WARNING - HUGE GENERALIZATION TO FOLLOW) any moment of independence or decision-making or self-assertion are strange, even repulsive, to French men. But so far I have punched no one in the face, and have not even come close since last week's incident on It's a Small World After All...

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