Alright, kids, time to flex that mental muscle. Here's an exercise in how you would deal with irritating or inappropriate behavior. Ready? Too bad, here we go!
Scenario A You're walking to the local neighborhood pub, and one of your travelling companions insists on describing to you, in detail, the battle of Waterloo, eg "It was really Napolean's battle to lose. Only two armies were really equipped to face him after his return from Alba; one was Wellington's British Army...although he had a lot of foreigners...Dutch...Belgian...Hanoverans..." 5 minutes later...Now Wellington had taken a strategic position, the low-lying hills made it difficult for the cavalry to advance...Napolean's first wave of attack was easily repulsed...15 minutes later As the infantry advanced, fifty across, they OWOWOWOW LAURA STOP POKING ME IN THE EYE WITH THIS SHARP STICK!!!!
Okay, maybe that last bit didn't happen, but it would have if we hadn't immediately arrived at the pub for a tall glass of sweet, sweet beer...But I ask - how do you tell someone that they're a boring lump and you're not interested? Or should you just suck it up? Or should you just poke them in the eye?
Scenario B You're at a proper military funeral for a WWI soldier whose remains were only discovered a few months ago. There is a gathered crowd of over a hundred people for the ceremony. Partway through the opening address, through the hushed crowd, comes the sound of some asshole jingling coins in his pocket. This continues through various readings, prayers and hymns. The priest then announces a moment of silence, during which nothing can be heard but the whistling of the wind, muted birdsongs and omigod that asshole is still jingling those fucking coins! Glancing around you, you eventually locate said asshole. Jingle jingle jingle jingle...You give him the stink eye, the evil eye and then the death stare, but nothing seems effective. Do you wait patiently for him to stop? Or do you stomp over, grab both his hands, and crush his fragile little bones while screaming "How you gonna jingle now, asshole? HUH? HOW YOU GONNA JINGLE NOW!!!
Discuss amongst yourselves.
On, and a propos of nothing - this rocks - big shout-out to Payton for sending it along.
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