You know you've been working on the Hill too long when:

1) Plagiarism is not only accepted, it's expected. Got a speech to write? Use someone else's talking points! Press release? Take the PM's and put your name on it! Original thoughts or words? Takes too much time! Citations? We don't need to stinkin' citations!!

2) You start to talk in acronyms. "Well, the PMO wants the DOCs of the RMs to have the MLs done, or else his DPA might step in ASAP." God, people like that are so IRRITATING! I catch myself doing it and I just want to kick myself right in the teeth.

3) You have nightmares where the House unanimously appoints you as the Speaker, and it's like being a new substitute teacher in a class of 308 rowdy adolescents who are trying to make you cry and they're all talking at once and horsing around and when you yell at one of them it turns out it's Alexa McDonough and she fixes you with a death stare and you're all "Um, sorry" and then you're trying to address members by their riding and you're reading your little seating chart and it's all jumbled and you wind up saying stuff like "The Honourable Member from Oolong" and then Stephen Harper is all "Pick me! Pick me!" but you can't remember what part of Calgary he's from and no one will tell you...

4) When you get e-mails like
"Liberal Cabinet Ministers do need to note IT IS A TOO TYPICAL OTTAWA JUSTICE MINISTER HYPOCRISY FOR THEY IN OTTAWA GOT THEIR BUDGET SURPLUS WRONGFULLY BY SAVING MONEY ON PROSECUTING THE TOO MANY PEOPLE WHO STEAL EXPENSIVE RINGS, TAX EVADERS, DRUG USERS AND DRUG PUSHERS, DRUNK AND DRUG IMPAIRED DRIVERS, COURT LIARS, ALL OF THE BAD JUDGES, BAD POLICE, BAD CIVIL BAD PUBLIC SERVANTS, BAD CABINET MINISTERS AND ALL OF BAD PEOPLE WHO ABUSED, ABUSE THE TAX PAYERS MONEY.. ALL STILL UNACCEPTABLE."

5) When the most satisfying part of your day is getting e-mails like that and deleting them while shouting BALEETED! I'm getting good at reading just the subject line and maybe the opening sentence before:

"FW: Is Canada a Real Country? Canada, as a country, is finished !! When Quebec can speak for Canada and Quebec can do anything it wants because..." BALEETED!

"A WIDOW FROM IRAQ Dear sirr do not feel bad for this e-mail more so because I am offering an business proposition. My husband was killed in the US invasion but left me 20 million dollars for this I am writing you thru internet.." BALEETED!

"RE:: Undeniable Muslim immoral Politics in Canada" BALEETED!

"CONGRATULATIONS,YOU HAVE WON. " BALEETED!

"Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!" BA...nah...this one's a keeper.