Thursday, February 19, 2004

I FINALLY FOUND IT!

After weeks and weeks of fruitless searching, I uncovered today something so rare in France that I was almost certain it didn't exist. No, it wasn't a man in loose-fitting pants - they certainly don't exist. What I found was - a place that plays decent music.

And there's only two problems: 1) It was in Lille, a 40 minute train ride away; and 2) It was in the train station snack shop. Other than that, it is hands down the place to hear music. A steady stream of Motown serenaded me as I drank my $3.50 Earl Grey. And it was a much welcome respite from the streams of crap that pour out of most French radio stations.

'Cause, seriously? There is not one decent station here. Not one. And there's, like, 25 stations available in Arras. But they all suck. Not only because they mostly play craptacular music (more on that later) but also because they seem to think that "Songs in English" is a musical genre. You know, some people like pop, and some people like hip-hop, and some people like songs in English. So, by this logic, the same people who like, say, Led Zepellin or Supertramp will, of course, love the new hit song "Saturday Night" by the Crappy McCrapalots (or something like that). Sample lyrics:

Saturday's the only day I wake up thinking about
'Cause every other day is just another day, no doubt
And every time I think about you thoughts run through my mind
And everybody's working for the weekend


Like, WTF?@##$@ Was that written by a monkey equipped with a random-cliched-sentence-generator or what? Did no one involved with the production of that song realize that none of the lyrics mean anything? I mean, why don't I write a song called "Monday Morning" and sing about how every day that's not Monday is another day, and when I talk words come out of my mouth, and I wish it was Sunday, whoa-whoa?

And then there's the Fox 40 solos - I mean, you know how songs performed by actual musicians sometimes have a musical solo? You know, with an musical instrument of some sort? Well these guys? Have a whistle. Yes, like Mr. Westhaver in gym class. Or The Coach.

Thank Jebus for Kazaa and CD burners.

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