The following post contains scenes that may nauseate some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised. Names and places have been changed to protect the identities of the victims.

So, there's this girl. Let's call her...uh, L. Floyd. No, no, that's too obvious. How about...Laura F. And last night, in the town of Arr...er...Arra...gorn...nia...ville, she partook of the fine Scottish delicacy that is...HAGGIS. (Duh duh duuuuh!!) Not once - but three times.

You see, I...um, I mean she was at a Robbie Burns night, ya wee sleekit tim'rous creature! There was drinking and dancing and dining, at which point she ate not only her own serving, but also that of her non-red-meat/intestine-eating roommate, and then asked the servers for another helping.

But she wouldn't touch the peas.

Okay, okay, you guys have probably figured it out...that woman was me! (gasp!). Yeah, I know, haggis just sounds so gross...but it was delicious! And you pour a wee dram of whiskey over it and mmmm! But the peas...um...words cannot describe their disgustingness [sic] [also, sick]. My afore-mentioned non-red-meat-eating roommate and I had a deal where we'd swap portions of meat and veggies - but when the roast pork came out with the side of peas, we both cracked up because...well, because it was like the chef thought "Hmmm...how can I take a vegetable and make it as meaty as possible? Why, I'll cover it with lardons (fatty chunks of bacon) and smother it with beef gravy!" But it still wasn't meaty enough for me to actually eat them...ew, peas.

To change the topic completely - have you ever tried explaining Groundhog Day to someone who's never heard of it? Try it, and finally understand why Europeans look down on North American culture.