Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Now that my mandatory two-week wait period is up:

I can finally pick up my handgun! Juuuuust kidding. Like I want to shoot myself in the foot. Or the face. Or anywhere at all, for that matter.

Actually, what I was waiting for was two weeks of cool-down time after the U.S. election. I'm not going to dwell on the fact that the results mean four more years of this (and also this, which is awesome but not quite enough to make a Bush mandate worthwhile) but I think I've calmed down enough to talk about reactions to this recent Bushwhack.

There seems to be lots of coverage of disenfranchised American liberals looking north for greener pastures. And on the one hand, I feel for them. I mean, Bush robbed Gore last time around, but this time he actually won based on a majority of Americans being - and I hate to generalize, but, c'mon - total bitchfaced asshats. And I know that if I suddenly found out that the majority of my country were basically angry conservatives, I'd sure as hell want out too. So I completely understand why some U.S. citizens are desperately looking for a way out. And, considering the gains that the Conservative Party made here last election, I'm definitely willing to greet my peace-lovin', tree-huggin', same-sex smoochin', civil rights respectin' compatriots from the south to help tip the balance back.

HOWEVER (and you know this must be important because it's all caps, and normally I hate all caps because IT'S LIKE BEING SHOUTED AT SERIOUSLY DID YOU FLUNK KINDERGARTEN WHEN THEY TEACH YOU WHEN TO USE THE BIG LETTER AND WHEN TO USE THE SMALL ONES???!!!) while the liberal Americans are certainly welcome here, they're really much more needed right where they are. Actually, not so much where they are (San Francisco, New York City) but more where they're not (Florida, Ohio, Texas). Instead of fleeing to Canada, we should be fleeing to them!

See, when roommie Mo and I went to see "Farenheit 9-11" and, we came out thinking "What can we do to stop Bush?" And what we came up with was liberal Canadians marrying Americans and taking Yankee citizenship to vote against the rapid conservatization of the U.S., which is a country that, while much lamer, is also much more influential than our own. To paraphrase the great philospher Denis Leary: "The rest of the world, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got the bomb, OK? "

So - who wants to marry an Mississippian?

2 comments:

Courtney said...

So here's what I don't understand. Christian Americans in general seem to support Bush in large part because of his "family values" (read, anti-abortion platform). How does the value (for them) of not making abortion legal outweigh what is going on in Iraq? How are Christian Americans okay with this?

If you haven't seen this http://www.buzzflash.com/contributors/04/11/con04485.html you need to.

floyd said...

So, so true Courtney! I don't understand either. It seems like American Christians believe that the lives of American children are worth more than those of Iraqi children, or even of 18-year-old Americans in the Army. After all, Jesus was from Texas, wasn't he? The desert in Texas? The man from Galidallas? It's like how they end all their speeches with "God Bless America", 'cause, you know, God likes them best!