Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Civilian Unrest

Those of you who watch the news might have caught a snippet or two of the big anti-homosexuality rally on the weekend. What's that? Oh yes, they called it a "Defend Marriage" rally, for the same reason that Paris Hilton is called an "actor" - because it sounds a whole lot classier than the truth. Which is that she's a big ol' no talent skank cashing in on the ancient yet somehow still marketable dumb spoiled bitch stereotype that continues to be...oh, wait.
I meant, the truth about the "Defend Marriage" campaign.

Exhibit #1 - Not getting their arguments straight. I get e-mails that tell me to stop gay marriage because gay people only represent (this varies from fundy to fundy) from 0.01% to about 3%. And then I'm told to stop gay marriage because I shouldn't be swayed by popular opinion. And then it tells me to stop gay marriage because the majority of Canadians are against it. And then it tells me to stop gay marriage or a deluge of gay people will flood Canada in order to get married. Then it tells me stop gay marriage because only a few thousand gay marriages have been performed across the entire country so gay people don't really want to get married anyway. Then it tells me about that in Canada we wear hats on our feet and hamburgers eat people. Oops, pardon me, that's the magical land of Rand McNally.

Exhibit #2 - WWJD? A huge number of the opposed Christians go on and on about God as if this was the number one issue for Him. Honestly? With all the horrible shit that's going on in the world, does anyone out there really think that "Stop gay marriage" is #1 on Jesus's "To Do" list?
All I can say is that on Saturday, when they walked in with their thousands of professionally made signs, hooked up their performance-quality sound system and then drove away on their own bus, I couldn't help but think that maybe Jesus would have taken those thousands of dollars and, like, helped to feed the millions of children who starve to death everyday. But don't take it from me - ask Him!

Exhibit #3 - The recent speech by Rob Anders. Stephen Harper's l'il buddy hates the gays, childless women, and Nelson Mandela, who are all "Who? Oh yeah, that idiot."

Exhibit #4 - Won't somebody think of the children? Geez, the fundies go on and on about this, how we need to think of the innocent kids and not indoctrinate them at young ages and protect them from exposure to information about gays because that will turn them gay - [editor's note - sorry, should have warned you guys...anyone reading this is now gay. Unless you were already gay, in which case you're now straight. Again, sorry] - and then they haul their kids out to a rally where the main topic is homosexuality! And for anyone who says "No, my kids came willingly, they really care about the issues, I say - You really expect me to believe that your 15 year-old daughter woke up this morning and said, "Gee mom, instead of going to the mall and checking out the new spring fashions, can Suzie and I make crude signs with damning allegations against the liberal minority government and its failure to govern according to the will of the people, and join you and Dad at the march today?" Or that your 10 year-old son believes that Paul Martin is "Catholic by name, hypocrite by choice?" Or that your 12 year-old firmly belives "There's no such thing as safe sex - you can bet your life on it?" (As one of my co-marchers said, "It's so true. I had sex once - and I died!")

Or, how about Exhibit #5 - the fine upstanding Marriage Defender and his homemade scrawl that read:

To fear God is to hate sin
Therefore, hate is a family value
Don't fags and dykes hate the heterosexual establishment?

Awww...thanks for coming out, Lonely Hatemonger! Seriously, I don't want to judge on appearances, but dude was...not appealing. And when you're waving a big sign around that says "I'm ugly on the inside, too!" well...let's just say that he and the "sex kills!" boy are probably already members of this.

And then Harper spoke and gave what was essentially an election speech about Liberal corruption and was all bla bla the Conservatives are going to defend marriage and then his stupid dishonest dipshit motion got voted down anyway.

Cue Nelson: HA HA!

Well, I'm all rambled out. Well, not really, but my fingers are tired. Smell ya later!

Also - here's a way interesting piece on man-dates.


Anonymous said...

I hate when people use their kids a political fodder. In Edmonton, there's this community group trying to save its school (which only has like a 100 kids at it and the next closest one is like 2 blocks away, but that's beside the point). Well, they've got their kids waving signs outside during the PTA meetings and painting these 15-foot 'save our school' signs with backwards Ks and stuff. It drives me nuts. Don't use your kids like a lost puppy to further your political agenda. - S-Go

megan said...

I love this blog, it makes me sad and happy and laughing all at the same time. Then it makes me click on aaaaaallll sorts of links instead of studying. Sweet ass.