After the overwhelming success of The Culture of Life's first single "Organic Vegetable Medley #7 (Cucumbers)", I am pleased to release the follow-up tune. It's an ode to the rotating shifts of old guys who stand as close as possible to the abortion clinics downtown and wear sandwich boards with catchy sayings, of which the only one I know is "Why must the child die?" because the rest are in smaller font and I always walk on the other side of the road, lest I infect the poor man with my slut germs or whatever it is us trollops have nowadays.
Anyway, the song is entitled "...But I'm Off to Have Sex!"
Dude with the sign, yeah
Got a question on his mind, yeah
Kinda deep, I guess,
Pondering a social mess,
Wish I could help, I'd give my best
But I'm off to have sex!
If only I knew, yeah,
Just what I could do, yeah,
To keep pregnancy away,
They might invent someday,
A pill, a shot, I should check my RX,
But I'm off to have sex!
Didn't teach us in school, no,
Learning isn't cool, no,
It's for Godless Communists,
Who fill their brain with lists,
Of things called "facts", what's next?
Oh right, I'm off to have sex!
If only I were gay, yeah
I bet that'd make his day, yeah
No accidental kid,
For surgery to rid,
I should apologize for all hetero-sex
But I'm off to have...some of that.
Mmm, yeah, sex, yeah
I'm off to have some, mmm, yeah
(Repeat and fade)
There you go, Random Old Guy on Streetcorner with Sandwich Board. Not only have you inspired what is sure to be a timeless song by The Culture of Life, but you've also influenced the thinking of at least one impressionable young woman, who now wants a sandwich.
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