Elect this!

What better way to celebrate one's 62nd birthday than by watching the televised English leaders' debate? Maybe some Matlock and a nice bowl of creamed corn...

Anyway - such was my night, with much-appreciated birthday wishes coming in by phone, interspersed with my shouting random things at the TV, while DD went on with his evening, wondering if and when he would have to use the straightjacket.

I can't help it though - politics get me riled up. Actually, it's not really politics, but the fact that politics oftain contains two of the things that rile me up the most:

1)Rhetorical speech filled with fallacies of reason, instead of logical and enlightening dialogue; AND
2)Lies and the lying liars who tell them

Like a certain person who I won't name here but let's just call him CreepyMcSmilesalot, and his OUTRIGHT LIE that a transit tax credit will encourage more people to use public transportation (and I say this as a public transituser. Not just a sometime user, but a five-times a week, rain or sleet or snow or heat at the end of my street with no bus shelter for me...or my feet).

Oh, and also on the "things that keep Floyd up late at night" is the fact that we might have to endure the SSM "debate" (I use the quotations marks because it's not so much a debate as one side putting forth reasonable, human-rights based arguments, and the other side going "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, lalalalalalaaaaa I can't hear you!") AGAIN. If it comes to this once more, I might just have to pull my eyeballs out and pour rum directly into my brain.

Actually, let me just get these out in the open right now - let's see, what do my notes say (yes, I took notes...don't judge me...No, YOU'RE analog!). Alright, the issues that bugged me the most (in chronological order)

1)Harper's creepy smile. Okay, that's not really an issue, but it's on the list because SERIOUSLY DUDE get a mirror because your mouth is saying you're going to stand up for Canadians, but your dead eyes and half-smirk says "Right before I devour these puppies, heh heh!"

2)The notion that Quebec will be offended by people voting for the Liberals because it shows people don't care about the sponsorship scandal. I honestly don't understand why Quebec is pissed off at the rest of Canada over this - they were Quebec members of the Liberal Party who misappropriated funds. So to paint with broad brush strokes, the sponsorship scandal was about QUEBECORS taking money from a fund designed to KEEP THE COUNTRY TOGETHER and using it to buy shiny things, or whatever, and QUEBEC is mad at the rest of the country for this? Because the Liberals tried to bribe Quebec? And failed because a bunch of Quebecors were corrupt? Does...not...compute...

3)Peter Mackay! Oh Peter, subject of many a page girl crush...(hey, have you seen the other male MPs? We're not working with much, here) what has happened to you? Now, he wasn't mentioned by name, but they brought up the subject of question period, and Layton and Martin were all "blah blah blah question period is an uncivilized shouting match" and Harper was all "blah blah blah you won't answer our questions" and I was all "that's because a certain deputy leader in a certain only has one questions to ask and that's "When will you resign?"". Seriously, P-Mac, you need to get a new trick, because it's really tiresome that everytime you stand up you're demanding someone's resignation. I pity the poor restaurant server who has you at their table: "My soup is cold! When will you resign!" "But sir, you ordered the gazpacho!" "This whole restaurant is corrupt! When will you all resign!"

4)Mandatory minimum sentences - here, just read this.

5)THERE IS NO FISCAL IMBALANCE AIIIEEEE AH! AH! AH! (punctuated by hitting the couch). Okay, here's the scoop. The so-called "fiscal imbalance" is a term used by the provinces (ahem, QUEBEC) to describe one of two things either a)That the federal government has more money than the provinces (this is the Quebec definition); and b) when the provinces pay more to the federal government when they get back (ahem, Ontario). And in response:

a)The federal government has more money than the provinces because it is federal. It has 30 million taxpayers versus whatever number each province has. Suck it.

b)It's not the provinces giving money to the federal government, anyway, it's the TAXPAYERS in that province. If you can't balance your books, raise taxes or cut programs or just TRY HARDER - don't whine that you don't want to raise taxes because it'll hurt your re-election chances. Aso, suck it.

Shit - this is already a pretty long post and I'm not even halfway through my notes. So here's the rest, without editorializing:

-Swingers: H (n) L (y) (denotes my belief about which party leaders are and aren't swingers, based on their reaction to the question about swingers clubs, although likely not for lack of trying, if that creepy dead smile is any indication) (also, Duceppe's answer to that question was the best, talking about the importance of social evolution built on principles, and it makes me wonder how often Mrs. Duceppe has heard that speech in their bedroom: "Gilles, I'm not sure about this..." "But cheri, it is simply a natural part of social evolution!")

-GST cut boo (seriously, cut my income tax, please - I save on GST already by not buying lots of crap)

-Students, tradespeople, people who ride buses, people who's name starts with the letter "T", my aunt Bertha (from when Harper starting naming Canadians who will benefit from his tax platform - I may have paraphrased a bit)

-Shout outs to Cutler, Easter and Loubier (the only three candidates who got one, to the best of my knowledge).

-Artificial growth..... (honestly, I forget what this one was about. But it probably had to do with Harper)

-Quebecors are polite! (Heh, Martin telling Duceppe not to interrupt him...one of my favorite moments of the night...honestly, I wish those two crazy kids could make it work! Just a couple of guys of good ol' QC).

Alright - so I thought taking notes would help me organize my thoughts, but as is often the case, I was dead wrong. Or it could be that I thought a stiff drink would help, but maybe my co-worker is right - maybe 11am is too early.

Aw, hell - not during an election, it isn't.