Blast from the Past?

Hey all! Hope this post finds you well and happy. First, let me assure you that I have not suffered some sort of brain damage that causes me to mix up the days of the week – I’m trying to get back on the Tuesday schedule. So next week’s will be on time. For real! Really! Uh huh…anyway.

And now, on to our regularly scheduled event:

You ever think about what you thought you’d be like 10 years ago, and what you actually turned out to be? What I mean is, do you ever think about what 15-year-old you would think about you today? Or 19-year-old you? I remember being a teenager and thinking how if only I could make it to my early twenties I’d be alright - turns out, teenaged-Floyd was totally bang-on about that…huh.

Or how when you were a kid all you wanted was to eat dessert for dinner and set your own bedtime and sleep in all you wanted, and then you move away for school and you can do all those things and you finally realize that they are not as awesome as you thought they’d be; in fact, they are EVEN AWESOMER.

Of course, there are some things that our past selves probably wouldn’t appreciate. Like how we think that teenagers are loud and dumb. Or that a lot of the shows we used to watch really kind of sucked all along. Or that our parents really do know a hell of a lot more than us, damn them.

But what would it be like if you could ask previous incarnations of ourselves just what they think of us/themselves now? What if the me from five years ago could chat with the me from now? I think it’d be something like this…

Floyd-5: Hey.
Floyd: Hey back.
F-5: So, you're, like, me. In five years.
F: Yeah...I guess so.
F-5: Huh. You don't...you don't look any different. Well, the acne's really cleared up. Does that happen soon?
F: Yeah! Yeah. Um, when you're 23.
F-5: Fuck.
F: Oh, but then you're going to grow these girls [sticks out b-cup chest] in, like, 6 months.
F-5: For real? AWESOME.
(F-10: What? I'm going to have to wait until I'm TWENTY?!!!?!@!@?!@)
F: But then you'll learn that it sucks to wear bras.
F-5: Whatever. I'm going to buy me some more skanky tops. So, like, do we have a boyfriend? F: Oh yeah! He's super hot. That happens around age 22. And we move in together a couple years later. He has a house
F-5: Wow!
F: And a car.
F-5: Sweet!
F: And a fully stocked liquor cabinet.
F-5: OMIGOD [faints, hits head, dies].
F: OH NO! NOW I’M GOING TO CEASE TO EXIST BECAUSE MY PAST SELF WAS KILLED, SETTING OFF AN UNSTOPPABLE LOOP IN TIME WHEREIN I AM DOOMED TO LIVE, DIE, AND RE-LIVE THE SAME SECTION OF EXISTENCE WHEREIN MY PAST SELF DIES DURING THIS CONVERSATION, PREVENTING US FROM HAVING THIS CONVERSATION, CAUSING HER TO LIVE AGAIN [ceases to exist because past dies etc, etc.]

Um…so maybe that’s not such a good idea. But it is kind of fun to think back to what mattered to us in the past, and where our lives fit in with that now. I know that high school Floyd would be totally unsurprised that her future self is a blogger – although she’d probably hella pissed that she writes so much about composting.

So, query – any thoughts as to what your past selves might think of the present you?