True dat! Sort of...

I remember going to see Bowling for Columbine when it came out (and getting hit on by some middle-aged bureaucrat, which: just because I am at the theatre alone, doesn't mean that I am crusing for some tail that is older than my dad. Anyway, this dude thinks he met a nice economics student named Katherine who studied at Carleton, so whatev), and pretty much loving the whole thing.

Except for the one part where he goes to Canada, and goes opening people's doors in Toronto, and then is interviewing random city people, and then this pretentious hipster is all "In Canada, it's, like, locking your door isn't locking other people out but locking yourself in".

Now I ALWAYS lived in a home where the doors were locked, under penalty of getting THE LOOK, and also getting THE GROUNDED and what not. To be fair, I did grow up in one of the most dangerous towns in the country, if danger is measured in flower blossoms. But that's not what bugged me - it was more this "American's are X, and Canadians are Y" mentality, one favored by Michael Moore and devoted scenesters alike, where we get to take two diverse groups and sort them with a short, pithy truism like, d'uh, didn't you know how to tell an American from a Canadian? Just let yourself in to their house - if you can. Without getting shot.

But this is the joy and the curse of the social sciences - that of generalization. It takes a small bit of truth that applies to some and tries to spread it out to cover everyone, or at least as many people as possible, stretching it and thinning it until it's of no use to anyone. 'Cause it's true - Americans and Canadians are different. I mean, a)they're citizens of different countries. But any other statement - Americans lock their doors, Canadians don't, Americans like guns, Canadians don't, Americans like Toby Keith, everybody else wishes he would just shut his one-note, vitriol-spewing pie-hole, etc. are only true in general. Fortunately for Toby Keith, unfortunately for the rest of us with ears.

So - with that in mind - (OH! ASIDE! I'm currently watching Young Guys on APTN, and the guy who plays Locke on Lost is in it...also it's inspiring a future post entitled "From the object of my first childhood crush to walking STD catalogue: Why you do me so wrong, Charlie Sheen?") I'd like to engage in a little generalization of my own:

People who don't own dishwashers are dummies.

I am saying this as someone who did not live in a house with a dishwasher for the first 24.5 years of her life. It is the single greates invention of this or any other civilization (ooh, it's a generalization and hypberbole!).

But if you don't have one, you should put off buying little Jimmy's medicine and get one right now because it is the best investment you will ever make. Plus, if your kitchen faucet ever busts while your dishwasher is on, causing hot water to soak through your house, you will finally get to replace that busted 60s kitchen you hated so much, just like my mom.

Also: Battlestar Galactica is the awesomest show ever and you need to go rent the first season right now and then be prepared to scream in blood-curdling rage as you wait for the second part of the second season to be available in Canada.

Also: Stephen Harper is a scary, cranky man who hates all journalists, ever.

And: Conservatives like to scare little children on Hallowe'en and steal their candy and pray that some day all abortions will be stopped and there'll be more little children to steal candy from.

Okay...I don't know if that is even a little bit true, but I have my eye on you, Kenney. (Okay, I linked to his site, but just try googling "jason kenney stupid" and see what comes up).

Ooh - it's climactic gunfight time on Young Guns! Gotta run!