Oh no, they found it!

Who? The anti-same-sex-marriagers. What? The internet. I know, I know, I didn’t they ever would either. I expected to keep getting telegrams or letters via the Pony Express or however these people are used to communicating. I mean, not to be rude or stereotypical or over-generalizational or anything, but a lot of these people are…how to put this delicately…older than dirt.

Like the woman who was kind enough to phone me from Powell River, BC, to tell me to protect marriage (like it’s tied to the railroad tracks or something, all “Help me help me I’m a social institution in distress!”). I got the feeling that she probably knew something on the subject, ‘cause I think she was there when marriage was invented. In my head it goes something like this:

Ungha the cavewoman: “Ugh nug sug sug” (“The seed of your loins has fertilized my womb”)
Ugh the caveman: “Rugha nug sug sug nug” (“Are you sure?”)
Ungha: “RARGH!” (“Yes”)
Ugh: "Suga nergh grah ugn nug" (“I guess I’ll have to devote all my resources to protecting and providing for you and my child”)
Ungha: “Grar nar ugh. Ugna gra nug. (“Damn straight. And if you so much as look at another cavewoman I’ll have your “woolly mammoths” for dinner, if you know what I mean”)
Ugh: “Roh-oh” (“I’d better tie this piece of tendon around my finger so I don’t forget”)
Ungha: “Rug ug sug nug ruganug. Rug NUG!” (“Good idea, I’ll wear one too. Also, I have a sudden craving for a blueberries covered in saber-tooth tiger blood NOW!”)
Woman who eventually moved to Powell River and harassed the assistants of elected officials: “Runga nunga wunga” (“What a glorious institution. I must protect it forever. Mmm, blueberries”)

Seriously, though, we’ve finally started to get the mass e-mails from the “Traditional Marriage” camp. I don't know how that happened - maybe all Homer Simpson style, with the "They have the Internet on computers now?" Not that they’ve in anyway slowed from their campaign of patiently handwritten letters. All in all, though, I prefer the letters. It’s just that when I know that someone took the time to write out a 3-page letter describing the various degrees of hell I’m going to burn in for supporting same-sex marriage, it’s so much more satisfying to toss it into the trash without even looking at it. It’s like, oh did that take you 4 hours to write? ‘Cause it took me 4 seconds to throw it in the big ol’ blue container of “Not my problem, fuckface”.

In other news:

Dan and I booked some last-minute travel, so we'll be heading off on the 15th to exotic Cuba (pronounced "Coo-ba" for all us posers). We were originally looking at the Dominican Republic, and I gotta say that the doctor I saw for my travel medecine wasn't really selling me on it. He was like, when'd you get your last tetanus shot? Hepatitis B vaccination? You'll have to get a Hep A shot...and here's some malaria pills. Oh, and a prescription in case you get torrential [his word, not mine] diarrhea!

But this deal to Cuba came up instead. I've never been down to the Carribbean so I don't really know what to expect. All in all I'm pretty excited - as Mo pointed out to me the other day, all I really have to worry about is if Castro dies...eat right and exercise regularly, comrade!