One of the bathrooms at DD’s parents’ house is decorated with this whimsical wallpaper made up entirely of folksy sayings like “Children are a joy in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too”, or “Just when you make ends meet, somebody moves the ends”. One of my favourites is “You grow up the first time you have your first real laugh at yourself”. It reminds me not to take myself so seriously. It also reminds me that there are a few people out there who could use that advice. Like, maybe, people who are committing acts of violence over a handful of cartoons.
When the story about these controversial ‘toons started gaining momentum this last month, I did what any average web-literate person in a free and democratic country would do: I googled them. My search led me to this article, and when I scrolled down to the cartoons, I was shocked. Shocked that buildings were being burned, death threats were being uttered and boycotts were being launched, all over a dozen editorial cartoons that, had they featured any other religion, wouldn’t have even made the news as much as Paris Hilton’s need for Depends did.
(Personally, I laughed my ass off at the one about heaven running out of virgins, because I always wondered a)where they got all these virgins, and b)what said virgins had done to deserve becoming the sexual slaves of suicide bombers in the afterlife, and c)no seriously, what gives with all the virgins?)
I’m not saying that some people aren’t genuinely offended by these cartoons. I am saying…how to put this delicately…"tough titty". One of the tenets of a liberal democracy is free and independent media. That means that sometimes, we are going to see things that offend us to the point where the next time we’re in a pharmacy and we see some ignorant prick buying Axe deodorant we want to smack him upside the head and scream “THIS WILL NOT MAKE RANDOM HOT GIRLS FUCK YOU! GET A GODDAMN PERSONALITY! AND A JOB! AND A BELIEF IN THE PRINCIPLES OF GENDER EQUALITY!”
“But!” people might say, “That is not the same thing! Here, they are making fun of religion!”
What? Oh my Intelligent Designer! Making fun of religion, you say! Why, no one’s ever done that before! Nope, never in the history of the world, right up until this very moment, has anyone ever mocked any religion whatsoever. IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED EVER. In a completely unrelated note: Do not look here. Or here. Or here. Or here. And do not google “religious jokes” because you will not find anything. Nope, nothing to see here folks! Move along, now, move along. (Also, definitely do not turn your speakers all the way up and look here or here.)
And yes, I am aware that you are not supposed to draw Muhammad. I know this because it is written in every article on this story, or told to me in somber voice over by well-coiffed news anchor. I also know this because I studied Islam in university, and while I’m not saying that taking three religious studies courses make me in anyway an expert on the subject, it does make me slightly more qualified than a whole slew of journalists and politicians who don’t seem to know the five pillars of Islam from the menu at their local shawarma joint; or their own religion for that matter. Because the whole thing about not drawing Muhammad? ONLY APPLIES TO MUSLIMS. So all you non-muslims out there? Doodle to your hearts' content. I drew Muhammad in my journal the other night. He’s saying “Don’t quit your day job”. Good freakin’ advice.
Also, this ban against drawing Muhammad? Not actually in the Qur’an. What is there is a condemnation of idolatry; that is, worshipping an object or image that may or may not be intended to represent God. The hadith (recorded oral tradition) forbids pictorial art of any sacred figures – these include not only Muhammad, but also Jesus and Moses, who are also considered prophets in Islam. Now we already know those other two guys/guy and saviour have been pictorialized to high heaven, seemingly without provoking riots. Does anyone out there believe that in almost a millennium and a half of Islam, a dozen editorial cartoonists are the first people ever to break this last tradition? That some tiny Scandinavian newspaper sullied this previously virgin (heh) territory? That some Danish editor was the first person ever in the history of the world to come up with the genius idea to draw Muhammad? I’ve got two words for that: Bull. Shit.
Also? Stop presenting this “Muslims are forbidden to practice idolatry” as if it’s some new and novel idea that nobody ever thought of before. Because I’m pretty sure Judaism beat them to the punch by several thousand years. Which means that Jews, Christians, and Muslims alike are all forbidden to create images of God. Which, again, obviously means that that has never happened, and should it have happened, it would have happened in some dirty, dank den of iniquity by filthy atheists and would certainly not be a celebrated piece of religious art displayed at the heart of a sacred place. Nope!
Which is why my beef is not only with (and I’m not going to call them Muslims because they are no more Muslim then the raging asshats at the anti-SSM march are Christian) the Islamic fundies who are causing this shit, but also with the Western media. Sweet Shesus, has it actually come to the point where I’m actually agreeing with right-wing superstar Ezra Levant? Has hell, if it exists, finally frozen over? Because Canada, the US and the UK (among others) are all “We’re not running these cartoons out of respect” and Ezra is all, “It’s not out of respect, it’s out of fear” and I am all “Amen, Ezra” and then I’m all “What the fuck? Did I just say that?” and then I’m all freaking out, curled up in the fetal position in the corner, rocking and moaning and wondering what the fuck happened to this world that people are being killed over cartoons and I’m with agreeing Eazy-L.
See, I too had thought of posting the cartoons here. And I didn’t, for two very good reasons: a)I don’t know how to load pictures on my blog, which is currently number one on my “blog to-do” list, followed closely by updating my layout and getting an RSS feed; and 2)I’m highly suggestible, in the sense that seeing the cover of the movie “Jaws” at age five prevented me from learning how to swim because I refused to put my back to the water. Yes, I was in a pool. Yes, I know it’s stupid, and there’s no monsters in my closet, no knife-wielding maniac in my bathroom, and the only person under the stairs is my roommate. But we’re just people, and threats of violence, real or imaginary, scare us. So I don’t blame editors or producers for being scared to show these images, but I do blame them for pretending it’s for some other reason.
Because censorship is really at the root of this problem. Other than one paper in Egypt, the images haven’t been published. Most protestors haven’t seen them. Some may have seen copies, others have seen false images designed to stir up angry protest.
People are dying because of these cartoons, and I am sick of being told that I don’t need to see them. When someone denies the Holocaust, I am told what he said, I am able to judge for myself and form my own opinions, whatever they may be.
So when people riot over supposedly racist cartoons (which, they’re not, since Islam is a religion and not a racial group), I want to know what all the fuss is about. When the head of the Canadian Islamic Congress says that he’s considering charges against the Western Standard for distributing hate literature, arguably one of the most serious offences in Canada, how am I supposed to know whether or not I agree? How can the accused defend himself fairly without being allowed to show us and say “Here. Here they are! What’s inciting more hatred against Muslims – a handful of cartoons, or images of violence, death threats, and declarations of war?”
When we are not allowed to judge for ourselves, when we are given half the story, no story, or the wrong story, then we are being manipulated. We become tools, or weapons, for the goals of others. We don’t need less freedom of the press, we need more, and we need it right now and we need it everywhere.
When the story about these controversial ‘toons started gaining momentum this last month, I did what any average web-literate person in a free and democratic country would do: I googled them. My search led me to this article, and when I scrolled down to the cartoons, I was shocked. Shocked that buildings were being burned, death threats were being uttered and boycotts were being launched, all over a dozen editorial cartoons that, had they featured any other religion, wouldn’t have even made the news as much as Paris Hilton’s need for Depends did.
(Personally, I laughed my ass off at the one about heaven running out of virgins, because I always wondered a)where they got all these virgins, and b)what said virgins had done to deserve becoming the sexual slaves of suicide bombers in the afterlife, and c)no seriously, what gives with all the virgins?)
I’m not saying that some people aren’t genuinely offended by these cartoons. I am saying…how to put this delicately…"tough titty". One of the tenets of a liberal democracy is free and independent media. That means that sometimes, we are going to see things that offend us to the point where the next time we’re in a pharmacy and we see some ignorant prick buying Axe deodorant we want to smack him upside the head and scream “THIS WILL NOT MAKE RANDOM HOT GIRLS FUCK YOU! GET A GODDAMN PERSONALITY! AND A JOB! AND A BELIEF IN THE PRINCIPLES OF GENDER EQUALITY!”
“But!” people might say, “That is not the same thing! Here, they are making fun of religion!”
What? Oh my Intelligent Designer! Making fun of religion, you say! Why, no one’s ever done that before! Nope, never in the history of the world, right up until this very moment, has anyone ever mocked any religion whatsoever. IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED EVER. In a completely unrelated note: Do not look here. Or here. Or here. Or here. And do not google “religious jokes” because you will not find anything. Nope, nothing to see here folks! Move along, now, move along. (Also, definitely do not turn your speakers all the way up and look here or here.)
And yes, I am aware that you are not supposed to draw Muhammad. I know this because it is written in every article on this story, or told to me in somber voice over by well-coiffed news anchor. I also know this because I studied Islam in university, and while I’m not saying that taking three religious studies courses make me in anyway an expert on the subject, it does make me slightly more qualified than a whole slew of journalists and politicians who don’t seem to know the five pillars of Islam from the menu at their local shawarma joint; or their own religion for that matter. Because the whole thing about not drawing Muhammad? ONLY APPLIES TO MUSLIMS. So all you non-muslims out there? Doodle to your hearts' content. I drew Muhammad in my journal the other night. He’s saying “Don’t quit your day job”. Good freakin’ advice.
Also, this ban against drawing Muhammad? Not actually in the Qur’an. What is there is a condemnation of idolatry; that is, worshipping an object or image that may or may not be intended to represent God. The hadith (recorded oral tradition) forbids pictorial art of any sacred figures – these include not only Muhammad, but also Jesus and Moses, who are also considered prophets in Islam. Now we already know those other two guys/guy and saviour have been pictorialized to high heaven, seemingly without provoking riots. Does anyone out there believe that in almost a millennium and a half of Islam, a dozen editorial cartoonists are the first people ever to break this last tradition? That some tiny Scandinavian newspaper sullied this previously virgin (heh) territory? That some Danish editor was the first person ever in the history of the world to come up with the genius idea to draw Muhammad? I’ve got two words for that: Bull. Shit.
Also? Stop presenting this “Muslims are forbidden to practice idolatry” as if it’s some new and novel idea that nobody ever thought of before. Because I’m pretty sure Judaism beat them to the punch by several thousand years. Which means that Jews, Christians, and Muslims alike are all forbidden to create images of God. Which, again, obviously means that that has never happened, and should it have happened, it would have happened in some dirty, dank den of iniquity by filthy atheists and would certainly not be a celebrated piece of religious art displayed at the heart of a sacred place. Nope!
Which is why my beef is not only with (and I’m not going to call them Muslims because they are no more Muslim then the raging asshats at the anti-SSM march are Christian) the Islamic fundies who are causing this shit, but also with the Western media. Sweet Shesus, has it actually come to the point where I’m actually agreeing with right-wing superstar Ezra Levant? Has hell, if it exists, finally frozen over? Because Canada, the US and the UK (among others) are all “We’re not running these cartoons out of respect” and Ezra is all, “It’s not out of respect, it’s out of fear” and I am all “Amen, Ezra” and then I’m all “What the fuck? Did I just say that?” and then I’m all freaking out, curled up in the fetal position in the corner, rocking and moaning and wondering what the fuck happened to this world that people are being killed over cartoons and I’m with agreeing Eazy-L.
See, I too had thought of posting the cartoons here. And I didn’t, for two very good reasons: a)I don’t know how to load pictures on my blog, which is currently number one on my “blog to-do” list, followed closely by updating my layout and getting an RSS feed; and 2)I’m highly suggestible, in the sense that seeing the cover of the movie “Jaws” at age five prevented me from learning how to swim because I refused to put my back to the water. Yes, I was in a pool. Yes, I know it’s stupid, and there’s no monsters in my closet, no knife-wielding maniac in my bathroom, and the only person under the stairs is my roommate. But we’re just people, and threats of violence, real or imaginary, scare us. So I don’t blame editors or producers for being scared to show these images, but I do blame them for pretending it’s for some other reason.
Because censorship is really at the root of this problem. Other than one paper in Egypt, the images haven’t been published. Most protestors haven’t seen them. Some may have seen copies, others have seen false images designed to stir up angry protest.
People are dying because of these cartoons, and I am sick of being told that I don’t need to see them. When someone denies the Holocaust, I am told what he said, I am able to judge for myself and form my own opinions, whatever they may be.
So when people riot over supposedly racist cartoons (which, they’re not, since Islam is a religion and not a racial group), I want to know what all the fuss is about. When the head of the Canadian Islamic Congress says that he’s considering charges against the Western Standard for distributing hate literature, arguably one of the most serious offences in Canada, how am I supposed to know whether or not I agree? How can the accused defend himself fairly without being allowed to show us and say “Here. Here they are! What’s inciting more hatred against Muslims – a handful of cartoons, or images of violence, death threats, and declarations of war?”
When we are not allowed to judge for ourselves, when we are given half the story, no story, or the wrong story, then we are being manipulated. We become tools, or weapons, for the goals of others. We don’t need less freedom of the press, we need more, and we need it right now and we need it everywhere.
And, for the love of God, we need to step back, have a good laugh, and grow the fuck up.
1 comment:
Payton - insightful and informed as always. You raise some really good points. I agree (and as one of the original Danish cartoons pointed out) that this is a bonanza of publicity (good or bad - wait, there's no such thing as bad publicity, right?) for these papers. I think my final feeling is that the cartoons are not expressing hate, they're are not promoting intolerance, and they are really not that offensive. I keep being told they are terribly offensive, but not WHY they are so offensive.
Gary Larson's cartoon of God making the world in an oven, pulling it out and saying "Hmm...seems kind of half-baked to me" is more offensive to the scriptural beliefs of Jews, Christians and Muslims. We work on Sunday without fear of stoning. I myself am wearing a shirt of cotton/polyester blend right now, as is expressly forbidden in Leviticus. South Park can show Jesus fighting Satan, but no one can show critical depictions of Islam? My point is that unless we can all be secure and mature in our beliefs, not try to force them on others, and grow up enough to laugh at our idiosyncracies, then we're all going to hell in a handbasket.
And I totally agree - the fundies are at the root of this. The cartoons have now reached iconic status where they now have a controversial symbolic meaning in addition to their rather benign literal meanings.
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